• 52 weeks of gratitude •

Week6: The city you live in...

"I say that half your life is spent trying to get out of a small town and the other half trying to get back to one." 

This one is gonna be pretty hard...

I love to hate this town. I love to pick every bad thing about being here, about how bad I want to leave and how I WILL leave. 

But this is my town - - - I have lived in this town, in this home for my entire life. 23 years. So while I want to leave - like I feel an actual pull of gravity sometimes - I am so grateful for this town. The good AND the bad. 

The good... the familiarity, the comfort, my home, my street, my memories. My family lives here - that alone makes it the best place in the world. And if I didn't live here how the hell would I have found my freakin soul mate!?! Damon Erb. Who made it possible for me to even fathom the idea of leaving this place! 

and I am grateful for the bad... 

I'm grateful for every shooting/murder in the town next to me, the drug corruption, every mean person to come into my life, every bull shit situation I got involved in in this town. I'm grateful for the people and the way they love gossip - the way their conversations are strictly about down playing others and making fun of everyone.

They all pushed me closer and closer to the edge and here I am ready to leap! Here I am making plans I never thought possible! 

But I pretty sure that once I leave - whenever that may be - I will miss my town. I will remember all of the good and forget all of the bad. Because the good is what sticks - the good is what makes those memories. I won't remember the people who made fun of me or the bad things I've done here ... or whatever else I tend to harp on right now.

I will wanna come back, I will always wanna come home.... to this stupid ass, piece of shit town! 

Week 5: something someone gave you. The city you live in...

I could sit here and talk about tons of materialistic gifts I've received - but they don't mean shit!! Getting nice gifts is fun and giving them is also fun. But in the end they make no difference - at all. 

How about the life my mother gave me? The morals and attributes she instilled in me. My goofy nature, my non judgmental attitude. Forever friendships and endless support from my brother and sisters.

The confidence, self love and bliss damon has brought me to. The future he has built for us. The unconditional love and joy from my lola girl no matter what. 

The energy and life audrina and niko breathe into me - being able to watch them grow and learn and become the most perfect human beings.  

Having my mommom here with me every single day - being able to take care of her and remember the love, care and friendship she gave me growing up. 

Shit, I'll even thank my dads side of the family for my anxiety and ocd - cus that shit is ME!!! 

And what about the gifts from myself? Never giving up, never backing down, finally finding abundance and health by going plant based - stopping the restriction and mental abuse and taking a leap to the best possible way of life as a high carb vegan. 

Believing in myself - because everyone i surround myself with believes in me. 

Those are my favorite gifts and they are endless .. They last forever. You can't beat that! 

Just writing those down makes me feel like a fool for ever complaining or downplaying myself. 

Life can be so fucking cruel - it's all about finding your tribe and giving each other endless gifts that last a lifetime. 

Week 4: one family member

How am I supposed to choose just one when I am so grateful for every single one? Each person in my family means so so much to me ..

I am so grateful for you, Olivia Cathryn. You have loved me through it all and been strong for me no matter what. You may be my little sister but I have always looked up to you - your strength and confidence are something every woman should have. 

You've had a tough year but I am so proud of you for taking the steps to get yourself back on top. Kicking the dirt out of your life and rising up to bigger and better things.. Because you KNOW you are worth so much more..

You are everything a woman should be - strong, intelligent, hard working, independent, beautiful and faithful in everything you say and do.

This is your year - to work harder then ever, kick these nursing classes butts and  make all of your dreams come true. 

I am so lucky to have you here for me whenever, wherever and for whatever reason. Your life is so important to me and I can't thank you enough for staying true to yourself and rising above and beyond ✨💜 we are gonna have so much fun - best friends forever 💜 

Week 3: my whole world. 

I am who I am today because of my family. Through every single up and down they have never once stopped supporting me. Life changes, addiction, rehab, recovery, career changes, bad decisions, horrible mistakes... No matter what. I am so grateful for the support system they give me..  They are my best friends, my forever friends.

My parents, Chris Mc & my momma, have done more for me these past couple of years then imaginable and I don't even know how to thank them other then to try my hardest to be the most grateful daughter and show my appreciationg as much as possible.. I am so grateful to have my momma to look up to. She put herself through school a few years ago and is now an RN working in hospice. and is currently in school for her bachelors degree! What a woman!!! Blows my mind to see where she has brought herself. All thanks to the love and support of my stepdad - without him I don't know where we would be. 

My dad has always been there if we really need him and I appreciate that. He has been through a great deal in his life including the loss of his father to cancer at a young age and battling stage 4 cancer himself - yes stage 4! .. He owns and runs a graphics business and I know he has a lot on his plate, both mentally and physically, so I am grateful for the time I do get to talk with him.. 

Now, my siblings... My big brother, Nicholas - my Little sister, Olivia and my big sister, Danielle - The best friends I will ever have. The bond we have is one that I can't even describe. No matter what, we have eachother and protect each other. We would do and have done anything for each other - they are everything to me and more. We are the LICWINKO kids - we've been through hell and back - and sometimes we still like to go back & visit 💀 but we've been through it together and there is nothing I can't face in this world with these guys by my side. DNSO ❤️

Nikolai Harry + Audrina Dianne .. I thank god every day for them and their sweet personalities. My brother & sister are like super heroes in my mind - I don't know how they managed to bring such perfect humans into this world. I love everything about being an aunt... I am so grateful for their little voices, and intelligent thoughts and unconditional love. I'm laying here next to Niko as we speak and I can't even look at the kid without bawling. These kids breathe life into our family & I can't believe I get to watch so closely as they grow. 

And of course - my lola girl. My vizsla. I am so grateful we have her and I know she may not fully understand but the happiness she bring me is ridiculous. I love that dog so so so much. And I'm so lucky to have her. 

I could talk about my family forever ... I can't handle how awesome they all are and how strong our friendship and love is. I love my family. 

Week 2: my sweet boy

"Whatever our souls are made of - his & mine are the same."

I am grateful for you, day. You drown me in love every second of every day. Without you I would not be who I am today. You give me everything in life & more. Mentally, physically and emotionally. You shut every fear and insecurity I have down and make every dream I have a reality. I wouldn't have the confidence or self love I have now if it weren't for you. I wouldn't be doing what I do every day - working towards this crazy, amazing future we have - going on these insane adventures and trips. You are my sanity.. My calm, my passion, my desire.. My first love, my only love. My everything. I love you! 

Week 1: Why start this challenge?

"Abundance is grasped by infusing our souls with the intoxicatingly liberating fact that life is a privilege, not a right." 

Because I am full of gratitude and I need to show it more often. Because I catch myself focusing more on petty things I am upset about - having a small head ache, my hair not cooperating, being "too busy"--- am I crazy!? At least my only health issue is a small head ache, at least I have a full head of hair, at least I have a job, a life and dreams that I have to stay busy to achieve... It's like I know deep down I should shut the fuck up but it's not a habit I've completely formed yet. That STOP, reverse & revert option. Stop complaining and realize just how amazing every problem I have really is!! 

So I think this is going to be a nice blog post every weekend over the next 52 weeks .. focusing a LOT more on my gratitude and a lot less on my petty complaints!  

I am sexy.

I always looked at eating healthy as something that you had to "suffer" for in order to LOOK good .. That healthy eating had more to do with what your body's shape and size were rather than how your actual body FELT.

Now I know --  A good looking body comes SECONDARY to how your daily food intake makes you feel.

Over 3 years ago I did lose a good deal of weight. After battling addiction, two stays in rehab and countless other issues - I gained a substantial amount of weight in a very short time period.  I got on a health kick and lost that weight! I felt amazing and attractive and "perfect" for MAYBE 3 months and then, like so many others, I slowly fell into the crazy fitness worlds idea of what health is -- low calorie, low carb, high animal protein, high processed, diet foods supplemented with too much cardio and daily, mandatory workouts that hurt and exhausted me... With minimal results at the end of the day. Health was a six pack, sculpted quads, a huge ass and ripped arms/back.

I did this for years -- tried all the gimmicky diet plans - low carb, carb cycling, high "good" fats, IIFYM, intermittent fasting, paleo, clean eating, cheat meals, juice cleanses -- and I dug myself deep into an ugly, unattractive lifestyle - full of self hatred and restriction. Nothing about what I was doing was sustainable or enjoyable. I made myself go to the gym even when I had no desire to, I ate foods that were not even appealing and that hurt my stomach but were "fit" foods so I didn't care! I was lost - I felt unworthy and no where near sexy - because I just needed to get abs and I would be HOT .. I just needed a bigger butt and toned quads and calves and then I would feel sexy. It was complete madness! 

Instead of embracing my healthy, perfect body that was now free of drugs and feeding it real food, I was instead running myself into the ground with workouts meant for body builders, eating hard to digest, processed foods and meat & dairy and endless amounts of caffeine in the hopes that my body would become something unnatural. Something it wasn't meant to be..

Going plant based has leveled out my natural body ... I have come to my bodies' optimal shape and weight. I feel sexy AND healthy in mind AND body - and i am MORE than proud to say that. My life is full of abundance - eating plant based there is 2 "rules" to live by - 1. eat plants (mainly carbs like fruits and starches like potatoes, pasta, beans, rice etc. and stay away from overt fats/oils - fairly simple!) 2. Don't restrict yourself & make sure you always eat enough --- can you believe that??? I couldn't. I thought - carbs? Gonna get fat. Unlimited food? that can't be healthy. 

Which is why I gave myself a trial period.. I would try this lifestyle for a month and see how it went. I kept it a secret from just about everyone in fear of an absolute downfall!! I was so skeptical because I just couldn't understand how I could eat unlimited carbs and food and maintain my "health".  Health to me had become restriction ... 

But one month passed and I felt amazing. I was eating whenever I wanted, as much as my body desired as long as it was whole plant foods - no overt oils/fats and mainly high carb. Fruits, veggies, leafy greens, potatoes, rice, beans, legumes and pasta. Then two months .. 3, 4 --- and now it's been almost 9 months!!! And I look like .. ME!!! The real me -- Healthier, leaner and 100x happier in every aspect. All of my disgusting digestive issues vanished, my mind cleared, my energy shot up (dropped all caffeine), my self love has been ever evolving - I love myself and how I live more and more every single day. 

I feel sexy, intelligent, worthy, appealing and capable of anything. I feel excited for not only my daily life but also for the amazing future I now have thanks to my amazing supporters & a plant based life. No more guessing, no more ups and downs, no more confusion ... Just pure bliss, everyday! I eat ice cream, smoothies, sushi, burritos, pizza, pasta, fries and a million other amazing dishes and foods!

If you have an interest in coming to your optimal body weight and getting your mind right by going plant based or even just forming some plant based habits email me at StellaTheLight@gmail.com 

Also subscribe to my YouTube channel: Stella The Light - for vegan vlogs, my vacations/adventures, recipes and breast implant pre and post op videos + more! Youtube.com/StellaTheLight912 

HIIT

Lately I have stepped back from concentrating so much on making myself get a tough workout in everyday - it became a chore & was making me a little miserable! I have less stress on my body & more focus on living life! Physically & mentally I have improved! But - I love my tough workouts & crave them all the time since starting this high carb lifestyle! I have always LOVED doing HIIT workouts - especially because they are easy to do no matter where you are and there are so many options and variations. They keep my core tight & work every part of my body!

My go to HIIT right now is one I made up & can't get enough of! You can vary this as much as you want - make it harder by adding more reps or adding weight or lighten it by shortening the time & reps - either way I guarantee you'll feel good!! 

Start by warming up - I usually stretch - go for a 5 min walk/run or go up & down my steps for 5-10min - whatever gets you warmed up & gets ur heart pumpin!

You will be doing each exercise for 30 -45 seconds at your highest intensity followed by a 10 second rest. Getting an interval timer app on your phone can help you keep up with the timing! 

• JUMPING JACKS • 

- remember you are trying to do these at your highest intensity - as fast as you can ... Not raising your arms all the way above your head helps when trying to speed up ur jacks! Keep your fists closed & limit the movement of your arms to a shorter raise & you can double the speed of your jacks!

• KNEES TO ELBOW • 

- in a push up position - palms flat - wrist right under your shoulders .. Take your left knee & bring it to your left elbow - hold for two seconds and repeat on the right side - switching back and forth for the 30 seconds. Keep your core tight & don't hunch your back! 

• JUMP SQUATS • 

- starting in a squat position - squat down and jump lightly at the top of the squat. 

• PLANK • 

• JUMP ROPE • 

- you don't need an actual jump rope for this! Make an imaginary one and either so short, really fast jumps or jump big and high! Or switch it up. Just make sure you are stable &  bouncing for the full 30 seconds!! 

• MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS • 

• SQUATS • 

- make these count! Keep your core tight, chest out, & no wobbly knees! Concentrate on squeezing those glutes at the top of your squat & getting as low as you can without hunching! Good form is key ! 

• PLANK til failure • 

Try for at least a minute but this will be the end of our round of HIIT so make it count!! Another option would be a wall sit which focuses less on core and arms and more on your legs! 

Repeat 3-4x or as many as you want! 

I have been ending my workouts with a very long cool down by going on a long walk! The weather has been gorgeous here & I can't get enough of it. Plus you benefit from HIIT long after your workout has ended..  so why not amp that up & properly cool down with a nice, long walk! 

Raw Til 4

Most people can probably see that my eating patterns have changed drastically over the past weeks. For the past month I have been eating a raw til 4 diet or 80/10/10 vegan diet. There are a million names for it - and by "diet" I mean what my food intake consists of - not a weight loss plan whatsoever. It is a plant based, high carb, low fat, low sodium diet. I had been feeling really tired, had been having stomach aches a lot, I restricted carb intake most days & was consuming entirely too many highly processed (and expensive) "fat free" / "sugar free" foods. Foods low in calories and also super low in nutrients. 

When I first started my fitness journey foods like red meat, milk, butter, ice cream and most "junk" foods disappeared from my diet just from starting the lifestyle. But I also started adding in things like unnecessary whey protein shakes, processed low calorie foods that had no nutritional value and egg whites with everything because - Low fat & low carb! 😑 It got a little out of control and eventually caught up with me - my mood was shit, my digestion was horrifying and I just felt like a slug most days - pushing myself to stay active and usually being overly exhausted after. 

Over the past 6 months I have been eating tons of greens (still rarely any fruit) and I also was stepping off from meat entirely - I had some chicken here and there and some ham! The animal products I was consuming like like yogurt, cheese, chicken or eggs were messing with my digestion horribly. I would usually bloat, get stomach aches etc ... 🙈 not what I want to happen after eating my "fuel". 

I started doing some serious research on raw vegans, consuming animal products, high carb diets & other things like that and what I was learning was insane! I am also a dietician student & was learning the most ridiculous and disgusting things about animal products. 

One day I just decided to jump in - full out high carb raw til 4 ... I consumed more calories & carbs that day (all from fruits & vegetables) than I had eaten in months. My energy immediately sky rocketed. Over the next week everything improved - my skin, my hair, my digestion (improved 100000x) and my mood completely flipped. I can't exactly explain it - but my entire head & body felt free - I haven't had this energy since I was a kid. 

I eat raw fruits and vegetables in abundance all day long and usually have a cooked vegan dinner or sometimes just keep it raw all day! No salt, low fat, high carb. 

My stomach is flat all day long, I don't bloat - or get any type of stomach ache, my digestion is just about perfect. I wake up in the morning and literally bounce out of bed and am active the entire day!

I have Damon to vouch for my mood change & I can't thank him enough for always, always 100% supporting whatever I do. I could tell him I was starting a new diet consisting of animal poop & he would tell me I am amazing and intelligent & the hottest shit eater in the world. My love ✨💕😍

At first I didn't really tell anyone I was doing this (not even really my family) because I thought it was too good to be true and didn't want to spoil it if I ended up not adjusting right. Plus I knew they would think I was bat shit crazy. It was overwhelming to be eating this much food (and still is) because I am so used to smaller portions and about 1000 less calories a day. I don't weigh myself a whole lot but I actually feel like I have lost weight - which isn't my ideal or what I want in anyway but the feelings I have right now far outweigh the weight loss. Or hey, maybe I just feel lighter because everything is on point! My digestion, my sleep patterns, my thoughts. It's all balanced ! 

I am still adjusting and won't speak too soon but from day one this has been so amazing for me. & as long as things progress as they are now I can see this being a part of my lifestyle & I couldn't be more excited! 

Ps. I hit every single micronutrient I need every single day. I get every macronutrient (including protein) from my fruits & vegetables alone. Download an app called cronometer & record your data for a few days and see if you're hitting yours! 

If anyone has ANY questions just contact me! I'm happy to answer any and every question! 

"What you want is to eat in a sustainable way for LIFE. Creating an active, healthy body and metabolism. This simply does not come from starving yourself. When you're slimming down, becoming an active person is a must. If regular physical activity is a real chore, then it's likely that you have not been fuelling yourself properly. When you eat enough real whole food on a daily basis to meet your basic needs in all respects - calories, macronutrients and micronutrients, then exercise becomes something you crave, love and enjoy.

You must NEVER feel as if you are 'on a diet'. If you do, then you can count on the fact that the moment you go 'off the diet' you will regain any weight you lost. You have to find a way of eating and living that gives you the results you want as well as being something you can see yourself doing forever, no 'end date' in sight."